Del, Lucy and Caley go out to get the mail
Thursday, March 26, 2009
It's snowing up in heeerrre
It's snowing here in the Denver metropolitan area. At 4:30 a.m. there was nothing on the ground and by 4:30 p.m. there were more than 15 inches in our front yard. Apparently there is more to come, but we hope not because we're supposed to be taking off for Portland at 8 a.m. I have a feeling that won't be happening. But it's beautiful out while it lasts!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
There's a loose seal, er, on the loose
I swear I put all the Xmas decorations away in January, in their respective boxes and piled at the back of the garage. I swear I did.
So I'd really like to know how this silly Christmas seal ornament ended up on the floor of the garage? No one has opened those boxes. So weird. Damn thing is following me. I will call it Lucille. (J can begin his Arrested Development jokes now.)
Friday, March 13, 2009
King Douche Bra is looking for a place to live
So this guy [who shall remain nameless] calls and leaves a message on my machine saying he wants to see the house we have for rent. I call him back and he asks TONS of questions. Bedrooms, bathrooms, deposit, lease length, carpet condition, square footage, on and on and on. So I answer all his questions and he says he has to come see it before noon today because he's taking a trip to Moab. I told him that I could do 12:15 because I still had to take the dogs for a walk and pick up. So he puts up a big fit but agrees. Then I say, "can I get some information about you?", and he says, "what, are you SCREENING your tenants before they even see the place?!" and I paused and then said, "uh yeah pretty much, isn't that my job so I don't give a bunch of showings to people that aren't even what we're looking for?". But douchebag answers my questions about pets and number of adults in the house. Then we agree to meet at 12:15 and hang up. Fast forward through the cleaning and the dog walks and hurried showering and douchebag doesn't even drive up until 12:30!!!!! After all that whining about how he needed to see it earlier because king-bra had to drive to Moab this afternoon. Urgh. Then, I'm sitting in here waiting for him to come to the door and he's sitting in his car. And he's sitting and sitting and sitting and it's 12:35, then 12:40. So I finally walk out there and I'm like, um, do you want to see the house, and he jumps out of his car all mad and says, "I've been waiting here for 20 minutes!" First of all, he had been waiting 10 minutes and second of all, I'd been at the house the whole entire goddamn time! Urgh. And he reads me the riot act about how I made it sound like no one was living there so he thought he'd see me drive up or have a car in the driveway. (Didn't dawn on him to ring the GODDAMN doorbell?!) So then we walk in and I start giving the tour and right when I'm about to show him the upstairs, he says, "uh, can we wait a second cuz the dude who is going to be my roommate is on his way here to see it too and he should get the tour." Um, ok, well, by now it's about 12:50 and I'm tired and cranky and just want this king-douche-bra to get out of my house. He's interrupting me every sentence and doesn't seem to be listening to anything I'm saying. When I walk downstairs he goes the opposite way to the other bedroom while I'm talking about the one on the other side, ect ect ect. So then other douche-bra shows up and I start giving them the tour again. "Here is the half bath, here are the bedrooms, here is the full bath, here is the garage, blah blah blah" until First King Bra interrupts me and says, "um, there's only one and a half baths?!" Yeah, you remember that conversation we had only TWO HOURS AGO about how there are only 1.5 baths in the place and how that was fine with you?!!?! HOW I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU ABOUT THAT SO I DIDN'T WASTE MY TIME SHOWING A HOUSE THAT SOMEONE WOULDN'T LIKE?!! Did you take too many steriods between then and now to remember what I said? Then he asks me why there are stairs that go downstairs. You mean, the stairs that go down to the two bedrooms in the finished basement that I told you about only TWO HOURS AGO stupid?!?!! Jesus f'ing Christ! Finally I just stopped talking and let them give their own tour of the house and answered their stupid questions as I ushered them out the front door. I hope they both fall into an ice pond.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Holy marriage Batman
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Divide it all up
As I construct chapters in the book, the chapters of my life are becoming more apparent. Which is an odd realization; that looking back, my life would be divided into clear eras and crises, that it would be defined by such dramatic turns. Not that it's any more dramatic than what other humans go through. Because I don't think it is. I think it's just been made clearer by a higher ratio of death to life.
On another note, thank god for dogs. They make me smile and laugh every single freakin' day.
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